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Nationally recognized communication expert Debra Fine reveals the techniques and strategies anyone can use to make small talk--in any situation. Do you spend an abnormal amount of time hiding out in the bathroom or hanging out at the buffet table at social gatherings? Does the thought of striking up a conversation with a stranger make your stomach do flip-flops? Do you sit nervously through job interviews waiting for the other person to speak? Are you a "Nervous Ned or Nellie" when it comes to networking? Then it's time you mastered The Fine Art of Small Talk. With practical advice and conversation "cheat sheets," The Fine Art of Small Talk will help you learn to feel more comfortable in any type of social situation, from lunch with the boss to an association event to a cocktail party where you don't know a soul.
- Sales Rank: #11851 in Books
- Brand: Fine, Debra
- Published on: 2005-10-01
- Released on: 2005-10-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.50" h x .0" w x 5.00" l, .66 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 240 pages
- Hyperion Books
From Publishers Weekly
Would-be social butterflies will get encouragement but little inspiration from this not quite scintillating self-help primer. Fine, a conversation consultant, insists that small talk is the necessary overture to deeper communication, the key to generating business leads and dates and a pathway to a richer life in which strangers are magically transformed into acquaintances. She covers such cocktail-party conundrums as how to spot "approachable" interlocutors, how to make introductions, how to butt into an intriguing conversation, resuscitate a flagging one and bail out of a boring one, and how to resist one-uppers, know-it-alls, motormouths and other abusers of talk. Given the ingrained human reluctance to talk to strangers, will, not technique, is the real issue. Much of the book is taken up with motivational pep-talks to get readers to initiate contact (one agonizing exercise suggests "walk through the mall and just say hello to ten people as you pass them"); in a world where everyone feels at a loss for words, Fine argues, saying virtually anything makes one a "hero." Unfortunately, it doesn't necessarily make one a great conversationalist. The heart of Fine's methodology consists of long lists of icebreakers and inviting questions that she instructs readers to memorize and regurgitate as needed to jump-start and sustain conversations, and these read like rather bad small-talk-dull ("How has the internet affected your life?"), stilted ("Do you have a personal motto or creed?") and awkward ("Describe an embarrassing moment you've had."). Tongue-tied readers can benefit from her pointers and exhortation, but one hopes they will think a little harder before they speak.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
From Library Journal
These two books treat similar subjects, but the contrasts are significant. One covers the entire landscape of speaking, whereas the other focuses just on "small talk." The title of Speak from the Heart describes the book's very solid premise. Emmy Award-winning broadcaster and motivational speaker Adubato emphasizes the importance of being genuine as he attempts to cover every conceivable speaking situation, including public speaking, private conversations, group discussions, and listening. He guides readers in the use of eye contact, developing a conversational style, and being comfortable with their message. Despite many charming personal anecdotes and stories drawn from other sources, this book remains a heavy read. Ironically, while Adubato tells us to make a connection with our audience rather than to "cover the material," he does a much better job of covering the material than of connecting. In contrast, Fine fully engages her audience. She involves readers in the discussion and gives lists of lines people can use to start, maintain, or end a conversation. She discusses conversation topics and how to use them and also includes quizzes, throws in a poem, and scatters a few cartoons to break up the text. Originally released as an audiocassette in 1997, this work comes across much like one of her seminars on small talk. The Fine Art of Small Talk does everything that Speak from the Heart says should be done. Adubato's book is best for academic libraries or large public and business libraries. Fine's is a better choice for most public libraries, as well as business libraries. David Leonhardt, Toronto
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Review
Among Fine's best tips are how to deal with these so-called conversation criminals, and how not to be one. -- USA Today, October 17, 2005
The meatiest part of Fine's book is a classification of common behaviors that can kill a conversation. -- USA Today, October 17, 2005
Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
How to face social functions without a stiff drink
By St. Omer Van Matzah
This book has been most helpful to me. I hate public functions due to the witless small talk I am subjected to. I love to listen to people's stories when we can move beyond the mundane, but have wondered how to move women beyond their current diet or workout regimen, addictions or my Super Child's life long accomplishments.(Potty training is boring after 3 minutes and your grandchild's 10 knock knock jokes...please ) It is nice to know what is an appropriate subject to introduce. Although this book is more geared to work related gatherings, how to prep for the onslaught is universal. Lots of good pointers in an easy to use format. Thank you Debra Fine.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Useful Resource
By Edward J. Barton
This useful and concise book contains entertaining anecdotes, elements and suggestions that are immediately actionable, confidence builders and lists of topics and questions that can be used to get a conversation started. It covers everything from networking events to dating - airports and air time. It is a good book, a useful resource, and was an insightful read.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
A Quick, Worthwhile Read I Recommend For Everyone
By starbrite70
I've been in sales for most of my professional life but have actually learned from this book. I bought it for a family member who has benefited as well. Small talk and connecting with others is, I believe, a basic skill that everyone should learn by young adulthood. Sadly, with today's technology obsessions, it's a skill that is dying out.
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